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A Moment – Happiness is an Inside Job

There are times in life where we just need to take a moment. Sometimes we realize it right away, and other times it takes us a while to actually get that we need to take a break. Then there are those times where we feel as if we can’t take a break because of all that is going on around us. However, it is imperative that we take a moment or a break at different times in our life’s journey.

I can honestly admit that I have been a tad bit overwhelmed these past few weeks. There is just so much I need to get done, so much I want to do, but limited time. The life I see myself living forever, is not the life I am currently living. I am most definitely on my way, but there are times where I just see so much more for me, those around me, and those I’ve been called to lead that my desire to tackle them becomes overwhelming. Lack or results and a cluttered mind caused me to make a decision to limit my social media usage. Social media really takes up a great deal of a persons day. I’ve decided to start off with the week, jump back on on Sunday’s to do our weekly Spark Sunday, browse for a few, and disconnect once again. One day, I just deleted every social media app I had. Can’t say that I was 100% off this week, but it was still successful, and I am going to continue this weekly.  It’s so important to disconnect every once in a while to get yourself aligned. We have so many thoughts, that sometimes, it pushes us off of the track or path that we are on. I can attest to this. We don’t always allow life to happen. We get to a point where we try to make things happen. Things that may not be meant to happen at this moment. Things that are to come along our path, after we have learned a particular lesson, or experienced a specific thing. (It took me this very moment to remember this. The power of taking a break!)

I had a meeting today (Saturday afternoon) scheduled in Bryant Park, to discuss Take A Moment, which will be hosted next month. After the meeting, I decided to take a moment and sit in the park alone. My laptop, music, a notepad, and bread (I’m hungry!). Before going back to work for the event and even writing, I decided to take a moment. I sat and took in the scenery and enjoyed the warm weather. I needed to clear my head. Ministry, events, work, Lovely Miss Jones, relationships have all been on my mind heavy lately. Most of these areas produced some sort of conflict. Which tugged at my peace. And I wasn’t the happiest that I could be. Almost as if I was unhappy because of all that was going on around me. However, as my notepad says, Happiness is an inside job. Our happiness isn’t dependent upon outside sources. I’ve felt the most misunderstood in these moments. All the more to disconnect.

All breaks or moments won’t look the same. Maybe sometimes you need to just sit, on a day like today. Sit alone in a park, take in the moment, and release your thoughts. Or maybe you need to disconnect. Take a break from social media, limit your phone usage, be less social. Just disconnecting to realign and get back on track. When we try (key word) to continue to move in the moments where we need to take a break, we become overwhelmed and even frustrated. No real results and a cluttered mind. Which can leave us in a place where we aren’t our happiest. In order to get the results we desire and be at our happiest, taking a moment is required. Be sure to take your share of breaks on your journey!

-xo Miss Jones

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The Process. It’s Good For You

As I’ve discussed in my previous post, many things have begun to change around me. After I wrote that piece, it seems like I’ve felt completely all over the place. Things are definitely moving in another direction. And in some cases, not at all how I’d anticipated. Through my circumstances and experiences, I’ve come to realize that the process is good. No matter what it looks like, no matter how uncomfortable it may be; the process is needed. 
These past few days I’ve consistently said to myself, “God has a way of doing things.” Nothing happens haphazardly, it’s all for a purpose. There’s significance, it’ll birth something. After a situation last night, I realized it caused me to see things differently. There are times when we begin to allow fear to overtake us. We see the inconsistency of our success, the constant roadblocks, and we begin to think that maybe this isn’t for me. Maybe what we desire isn’t really what we deserve. Despite our feelings, there’s a purpose in all that we go through. Our circumstances and situations do the following:

  • Settles us. Difficulties have a way sitting us down. Sometimes we run too much physically, emotionally, and mentally. There are times when our situations cause us to take a step back, relax, and evaluate. 
  • Shows us where our dependence should lie. The different things that we go through in life also cause us to realize that we shouldn’t put our security and dependence in things. We can’t trust physical things. We have to put our trust wholeheartedly in God. Our plans aren’t always His plans. He knows what’s best for us; and even if it’s not what we had planned, it’s greater. 
  • It teaches us. There’s always a lesson through every struggle. It’s all preparation for what’s soon to come. It’s building and strengthening us for our future. If we don’t go through things, we won’t be able to grow. We won’t have a backbone, or any endurance. We would fall apart at every sign of disappointment.   

We have to learn to discern the seasons of our lives. Everything isn’t meant to last always. But there’s purpose in it. There are certain times that we have to go through a season where we have to just settle ourselves down. This season helps you to mature and grow into the person that you’re supposed to be. It will help us to somewhat master the art of balance. It causes us to trust that God has major purpose for our lives. And all we have to do is trust Him. We have to learn to trust the process. We have to realize the only way we can be purposeful is when we understand the process. So I encourage you today, don’t allow a particular season in your life to break you. Comply and yield yourself to your process. If it causes you to be still in order to teach you balance, allow it to. If it’s going to increase your faith because you realize Gods position in your life, allow it to. Trust that the best is yet to come when you continue in your process, instead of giving up. 

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It’s Not Always “Them”

Sometimes we unknowingly create issues within ourselves and pass it off on others. There are times when we need to check ourselves and not the motives of those around us. Often times we create issues in our heads based off of what we’ve been through, what we expect, what we assume, and decisions we have to make. It can sometimes even be unconscious behavior. However, we have to get to a place where we know when our thoughts play a part in the situations we may be in. There are some people who actually want the best for us. Every uncomfortable situation isn’t because of other people. This thought led me to a very recent personal experience.

I was experiencing a very emotionally season of my life. Not realizing all it took was for me to make a decision to rid myself of these feelings. During this process I was delicate. I put up a wall and dodged certain things because I assumed that these particular people around me were putting me in a place where I’d be pushed further into my emotions. After one very important conversation with a close friend, I realized I wanted things to be made easy for me. I wanted my decisions to reflect the decisions of others, which would make my decision much easier. Sounds complicated, right? But I’m the one that made it complicated. I made it uncomfortable, not the people that were around me. It was me, and I had to take ownership of that. People have always been my downfall. But it was always because I allowed it. 

When you realize you’re the one who created the circumstance or situation you’re experiencing, you’re closer to a solution. And from there you’ll be in a much better place; emotionally, physically, then your headspace will be a lot clearer. Which will give you time to enjoy your life. You’ll be happier and experience the joy that you once desired. Once I acknowledged that I had to make a decision, I was able to do it. I put my thoughts into perspective and I acted. And it honestly put me in a much better place. Not even knowing for sure if it was going to be this way forever. I’m learning to live in the moment. It’s ok to make mistakes, as long as you own up to it. We have to come to a place where we stop blaming our discomfort and difficulty on other people. Our happiness and peace of mind isn’t dependent on other people. It’s our choice, and we always have a choice. So I encourage you not to always think that someone is out to get you, or your happiness lies in the hands of others. Evaluate yourself and not always the thoughts of others. Own up to your own thought process, decisions, and behavior and see how happy you will be!

                                                                        

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Be the Change you Wish to See

Over the past month or so, I’ve been feeling a bit stagnant on my job. I haven’t felt like I’ve been the most effective and it began to bother me. I found myself sharing with others how unfulfilled I had been feeling overtime. Last night was the very last conversation I had and it caused me to think past the very words I spoke. Instead of complaining about what I felt I couldn’t do; why not do what I could, where I was, with what I had.

Often times we become discouraged because of the place that we’re currently in. We feel as though we can’t produce the way we intend to because of an uncomfortable place or situation. However, when we begin to look around us, we can find things to put our hands to. We shouldn’t limit or subject ourselves to the situation we’ve been given. We can complain and talk about how we’d rather not be in that place; or we can make the best of it, put our hands to other things in the process, and work on how we can become better.

When our desire to see change is greater than what we currently see, we’ll be able to be more effective. Sulking ourselves and others in what we dislike doesn’t change much. We have to be dedicated to the conversion we’d like to take place. Then and only then will we be able to make progress.

This reminds me of a sentence I read in one of my devotions recently, “what you focus on, grows.” If we focus on the unpleasant feelings, that’s what will begin to grow and keep tugging at us. On the other hand, when we begin to put all of our focus on the actions we need to take in order to change our situation, that’ll take precedence over the negative feelings.

So just as I’m encouraging myself, I encourage you to shift your focus. Change your attitude and your mindset. Begin to look at your surroundings without eyes of frustration, but rather the eyes of change. Let’s be agents of change and do what we can, where we are, with what we have. We can be the change we wish to see.

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Do it Anyway

People will take your past and create issues that never existed. Because you may have reacted a certain way in the past, doesn’t mean you continue to have that reaction. Some people fail to realize this.

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The other night this week, I experienced this full on. My attitude is something that I’ve constantly had to work on. To be quite honest, it’s not the best and I have to continuously reflect and check myself. I don’t always do the best job, but it’s something I can honestly say I’m working on. In any event, that particular night, I so happen to walk into a room and received a very negative comment for absolutely no reason. So I decided instead of allowing it to make me upset, I’d just joke around and let it slide. So I joked back knowing the person was serious. Then this situation became an issue because I responded to something that was said.

I almost took to social media to display my frustrations, instead I thought why not see the lesson in it and write about it.

Despite what people say or what they think they know about you, keep moving towards growth.
Some people will always have that negative view of you regardless of how much you’ve changed. Don’t allow it to frustrate you to the point that you end up reverting back to it.
Ignore it. Let it brush off your shoulders and keep it moving. As hard as it is, and trust I know, it’s something you have to do. Help the situation rather than hurt it.

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I could’ve allowed this situation to bring me completely out of character because I knew for sure I wasn’t in the wrong. But I know that I’m better than that. I’ve come to realize that no matter how much you’ve grown or worked on your issues; for some people, you’re still the person you used to be. I had to choose to look passed that knowing I’ve made progress.

So I encourage you today to keep moving forward regardless of how certain people see you. In spite of what others may say, continue down that path of progression. Don’t allow the negativity to deter you from growth.

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