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Our Thoughts vs. Reality

You can do so much in life, things you’ve never imagined yourself doing. But there are those moments where you want more for yourself and those who follow your platform. You can have all of the ideas in the world, but if we are honest with ourselves, sometimes we don’t know where to start.

Everyone doesn’t deal with things the same, but there are some of us who began to feel like failures when we aren’t executing. There are some of us who beat ourselves up because we weren’t as consistent as we’d hope to be. There are some of us who tend to take a step back, because we genuinely feel like we don’t know where to start or where to pick up from that moment we left off.

It’s not always easy starting something and trying to keep up with it. Is it possible? Absolutely. Then life happens. Other things come into play. And our thoughts and feeling are attached as well.

Since August, I feel like I haven’t produced much, to be honest. I decided to start a vlog, something that I’ve thought about for a while. Then I got the urge and push to do so in July. But since publishing video number one, there’s been nothing. But to be honest, I actually recorded two more videos. But because of life and situations, I’m unable to post them. And trying to figure out how and when I can post another.To the point where I feel like maybe I should’ve waited until I could be sure I can be consistent.

Starting a business isn’t easy for everyone. Trying to crunch numbers and do things by the book doesn’t come to some as easy. Some of us almost need someone else to take over that aspect of the business. The real business side. The financial reports. Crunching numbers. Etc. We have scholarships winners, but we haven’t given the award as of yet. Trying to ensure they get the most possible, I’ve prolonged it. To the point that I want to hold off until next semester. And I feel like a failure because of it. Why didn’t I just leave it in December when I could have more time. Was I too impulsive thinking I could do it in August. Did I allow my milestone year to push me to get it done then.

All thoughts that run through my head. I’m constantly second guessing myself. Wondering if I moved too fast.

I constantly wonder what my next move is. Like many of us, we want to keep going. Project after project. But for some of us, that just doesn’t happen. There are dry moments. Moments where we wish we are moving. Moments we wish we are producing. Moments we wish we are constantly creating. Moments we wish we are consistently moving onwards and upwards. But that isn’t always the case.

Even in other leadership positions, I question its success. In ministry as well. It’s not always easy being a leader and see what you truly feel at times. Or see execution. And sometimes that can make you feel like a failure.

Just because we feel like we are, does it mean that we truly are failures. Of course not!!

As I wrote this piece Saturday, I couldn’t finish. However, Sunday I figured out the reason why. The sermon that morning was titled, “I’m going through, but I’m good.” Great topic. There were three points that Shalonda Robinson used to encourage the congregation in their “going through.” I immediately knew those three points would complete this article.

Step 1: Remember. Remember means to preserve the memory of something. The important thing to take from this is to reflect back to where you used to be in life. As mentioned earlier, personally, I’ve done things that I never thought I’d ever do. I’ve gotten over my fears and I’ve been able to do things that are bigger than Krystle. In other words, if you’ve gotten through certain situations and circumstances before, then why wouldn’t you be able to get through something now. We may not know where to start now, but we didn’t know where to start before and we were still successful. Whatever idea, project, or dream you have set in front of you; remember, it can be done. It’s been done before, and it can be done now!

Step 2: Accept. Accept where you are now. Accept where God has you now. Accept what God allows in your life. Often times, we don’t like where we are or situations we encounter, or even our standstill moments. However, we must remember that everything happens for a reason. Every moment we encounter in our life is necessary. It’s all necessary for our development and our growth. We learn from every experience.

Step 3: Trust. Trust means having confidence in something. First, we must have confidence and trust in God. He has us where we are for a reason. Two, we must trust our process. Everything won’t always be peaches and cream. We have to struggle in order to learn and reach success.

In closing, just because we feel as though we’re failing, doesn’t mean that we actually are. It’s the season of your life at that particular moment. You’re going through, but you’re good. You’ll be able to shift your thoughts and realize you’re good after you remember, accept, and trust. So I encourage you today, although you may be going through, believe that you won’t get stuck there. You’ll get through and be better because of it!

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The Entrepreneur Give-back

Too often we feel as if we need to withhold information of what we’ve learned, or how we’ve gotten to where we are in life. We tend to believe that that’s what we need to do to ensure that we reach the level of success that we desire. We think that this is apart of making sure we get to the top. But is this really necessary?

After every project I decided to put out, there were a group of people who asked questions about my journey. After pursuing my latest project with the t-shirt line, I was again asked multiple questions. Questions about my designs, printing, etc. While I’m quick to answer the inquiries, there are people who encourage me not to share. While I know for a fact these people are just looking out for me, I don’t agree. While I understand that you may not be able to share everything with everyone, I don’t agree that I should keep information to myself.

Below are three reasons why I believe entrepreneurs and creatives should be open to sharing information without a problem:

  1. There’s more than enough room for everyone to win! For some reason we feel like there’s only room at the top for one. I don’t know where this mentality came from, but there is a large space at the top. There’s enough out there so that we all can eat. There’s enough so that we can all get it.
  2. No one can do what you do, the way you do it. There’s no competition. Why would we ever be in competition with anyone? Even if we are in the same fields, there is no person who can do what another person does. We all have our own spin on things, we have all been given different details to our specific ideas. And no one can duplicate exactly what you do. There’s no competition.
  3. Regardless of who’s doing it, if God has has His hands on it, it’ll flourish. We get so caught up on who’s doing something similar to what we’re doing, and less focus on the one who gave us the idea in the first place. When God gives us an idea, a gift, a talent, He has His hands on it. And if His hands are on it, no one can stop it from flourishing.

So I encourage you today, let’s not be quick to be selfish and withhold information to look out for self. In everything that we experience, there is someone behind us who needs a little information or help to get to where we have gotten. We can’t only focus on ourselves. What we are able to do, no one else can do. However, what someone else can do, we may not be able to do. We all can’t do the same thing, the same way. We each have our our element. Elements that people need. Elements that other people will be able to benefit from. Elements that can potentially help someone get through different circumstances. What we’ve been given, the journey we are on; it’s not just for us. We can win, and still reach out and help someone else to the top!

-xo Miss Jones

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Encouragement Through Experience T-Shirts

On May 25th, during our Take A Moment Women’s Health Month Event, we officially launched our ‘Encouragement Through Experience’ Series T-Shirt line. A few months ago, the idea dropped into my mind, and I knew I needed to move fast. I came up with a few quotes/positive affirmations that have been able to help through difficult situations. All personal quotes, from experience. These shirts were also created to enhance the LMJ Scholarship Fund. All of the proceeds from the sales, will go directly to the scholarship fund. We have been working hard to carry out our mission, and this T-shirt line falls right in. Your support in this has been overwhelming. Those who have not purchased, we would appreciate your support greatly. Not only are you wearing a shirt that allows you to speak positive affirmations, but you are also making an impact in the lives of this next generation. Below are all three designs, they are all available in black or white. You can purchase your shirts here. If you do not see your size available on the website, please send us an email at info@lovelymissjones.com. We supply shirts ranging from XS-4X.

My Creativity Was Bigger Than My Fears

 

 

I No Longer Live In Fear, I Live In Faith

 

My Vision Outweighs My Insecurities

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A Moment – Happiness is an Inside Job

There are times in life where we just need to take a moment. Sometimes we realize it right away, and other times it takes us a while to actually get that we need to take a break. Then there are those times where we feel as if we can’t take a break because of all that is going on around us. However, it is imperative that we take a moment or a break at different times in our life’s journey.

I can honestly admit that I have been a tad bit overwhelmed these past few weeks. There is just so much I need to get done, so much I want to do, but limited time. The life I see myself living forever, is not the life I am currently living. I am most definitely on my way, but there are times where I just see so much more for me, those around me, and those I’ve been called to lead that my desire to tackle them becomes overwhelming. Lack or results and a cluttered mind caused me to make a decision to limit my social media usage. Social media really takes up a great deal of a persons day. I’ve decided to start off with the week, jump back on on Sunday’s to do our weekly Spark Sunday, browse for a few, and disconnect once again. One day, I just deleted every social media app I had. Can’t say that I was 100% off this week, but it was still successful, and I am going to continue this weekly.  It’s so important to disconnect every once in a while to get yourself aligned. We have so many thoughts, that sometimes, it pushes us off of the track or path that we are on. I can attest to this. We don’t always allow life to happen. We get to a point where we try to make things happen. Things that may not be meant to happen at this moment. Things that are to come along our path, after we have learned a particular lesson, or experienced a specific thing. (It took me this very moment to remember this. The power of taking a break!)

I had a meeting today (Saturday afternoon) scheduled in Bryant Park, to discuss Take A Moment, which will be hosted next month. After the meeting, I decided to take a moment and sit in the park alone. My laptop, music, a notepad, and bread (I’m hungry!). Before going back to work for the event and even writing, I decided to take a moment. I sat and took in the scenery and enjoyed the warm weather. I needed to clear my head. Ministry, events, work, Lovely Miss Jones, relationships have all been on my mind heavy lately. Most of these areas produced some sort of conflict. Which tugged at my peace. And I wasn’t the happiest that I could be. Almost as if I was unhappy because of all that was going on around me. However, as my notepad says, Happiness is an inside job. Our happiness isn’t dependent upon outside sources. I’ve felt the most misunderstood in these moments. All the more to disconnect.

All breaks or moments won’t look the same. Maybe sometimes you need to just sit, on a day like today. Sit alone in a park, take in the moment, and release your thoughts. Or maybe you need to disconnect. Take a break from social media, limit your phone usage, be less social. Just disconnecting to realign and get back on track. When we try (key word) to continue to move in the moments where we need to take a break, we become overwhelmed and even frustrated. No real results and a cluttered mind. Which can leave us in a place where we aren’t our happiest. In order to get the results we desire and be at our happiest, taking a moment is required. Be sure to take your share of breaks on your journey!

-xo Miss Jones

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Your Choice of Surroundings Can Impact Your Process

As the year started, I decided that it was imperative that I get a team together for Lovely Miss Jones. After going from blog to business, I knew it was necessary to get more people involved. For the past three years, I haven’t had a team in place, and all things LMJ have fallen solely on me. There have been a few people who will help out with anything I asked, but there was so much responsibility placed on me, which secretly left me feeling stressed or overwhelmed. Which causes me to fall back in areas where I need to step up. Therefore, I made up in my mind to reach out to people who I felt would make a great team.

After developing this team, and having a few meetings, in my mind things still weren’t moving the way I wanted them to. We came up with amazing ideas, collectively, and we were able to work out some details in the projects for the year. I know that this is just the way things go when running a business, but I’ve been so ready to move and make all of my ideas reality. During a meeting I was assured that I need to work project by project. When you don’t, you began to get disappointed because you’ll end up doing nothing trying to do everything all at once. Today, I reached out to my team members to schedule a meeting. In my message, I expressed that although it is expected, things aren’t moving the way that I would like. I received all positive feedback. All of which encouraged me. However, this message stuck out the most. “Let us not grow weary in well doing, for in due time we will reap a harvest, if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9 U got this! I’m always here for u!”

Not only is it important to accept the fact that our process doesn’t always go the way we anticipate, but it’s all necessary to the journey. We must also be sure that we have the right people around us. We have to be sure that we select a group of people that will impact our process positively, rather than negatively. These words meant so much to me because it was a reminder and a push to keep going. Not that I intended to give up, but sometimes we can get a little discouraged by the process. We begin to rethink certain things or projects because of the timing or because of how things are going. However, our circle can either help remind us of things or push us further into our thoughts. I remember a time where I mentioned a project to someone, and their immediate response was negativity. They began to tell me that I didn’t have enough time to pull this off and that I shouldn’t do it. Those words sort of didn’t sit well with me. Because of my determination, I went ahead and presented the idea and it became reality. And it was a huge success, to this day I am still receiving feedback on how people were blessed by this. Had I allowed this person to be a part of my team and listened to their words, I would have never produced what was meant to bless someone else. It is extremely important that we choose our circle and our team wisely. People who will speak positivity and speak life when the process doesn’t necessarily go in the direction you anticipated, or at the speed you would like to go. Your choice of surroundings can impact your process!

-xo Miss Jones

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You Are Enough

These three simple words have been with me for quite some time now. I am enough. You are enough. I have posted on social media last night that we are so quick to psych ourselves out. We put in our own head that we can’t do something. We make ourselves believe that we aren’t good enough to do something, or we just don’t have what it takes. Trust and believe, I’ve been there. Probably on the frontline of the group. There have been many instances where I told myself that I couldn’t do something. However, I have grown to see how untrue our doubts and unbeliefs are.

A few weeks ago I registered for a workshop. I am currently in the process of trying to push myself to write more and essentially finish the book that I started. I went to this workshop and everyone who attended had already written at least one book. Finished and published. One had already published seven or eight books. And here I was with just the beginning stages of my book. I was comfortable sharing the beginning stages of my book with the instructor, because well, I was obviously there to get help to finish my book. So as the workshop started, we discussed writing a synopsis for a book, a back cover, and a summary. I initially thought the task at hand was going to be for us to write a synopsis for our book. My synopsis (back cover) of my book is already finished, so in my mind I thought I was good. But little did I know, she had something completely different in mind. She told us that she would give us a general scenario and it was up to us to zone in on it and create a synopsis of a novel. She gave us very vague details, and it was up to us to create a character and the scenario/storyline. Most of the writers in the room were novel writers, so I knew this was something they’d done before. I immediately told myself, girl you are not a novel writer. You’re a non fiction writer, how are you going to do this. But as my pen touched the paper, my creative juices started to flow. To my surprise, I got it done and I shared it with the room. When asked how we felt about this task, I was transparent. I shared that it was difficult because I’m not a fiction writer and I thought it was something I couldn’t do. After, the woman who wrote seven or eight novels said, “listening to you read what you wrote, I couldn’t tell that you aren’t a novel writer. It was good and left me wanting more.”

I shared this to say that we shouldn’t be so quick to doubt ourselves. Just because it’s something we’ve never done before or aren’t used to doing, doesn’t mean that we are incapable of doing it. We have to push ourselves, step out, and do it anyway. Something good will come from it.

One more quick story. I have been planning to start a team for my business. I have been reaching out to one of my mentors to get advice before I have the meeting. Life happened and she had gotten sick. And I put myself in a box, saying I couldn’t do this meeting without her being there or without meeting with her first. Funny story, I never got to meet up with her before my planning meeting. And she wasn’t able to attend. The planning meeting didn’t go as planned because of things out of my control, but it was still a success. I was concerned that I wouldn’t be prepared, or what I had written out wouldn’t be good enough. You know. Psyched myself out of what I’m capable of doing. I am now building a solid team and moving forward with my company. One step at a time, but it is happening.

I’m sharing all of this to say, all that we think we need is literally right inside of us. We think that we need outside sources or compare ourselves to people who have done things that we haven’t done. But what we fail to realize is, if we just step out and do it, it can be done! Sometimes you just have to stretch yourself. In these moments, it reminds you of who you are and what you possess. All that we need to fulfill our calling is right on the inside of us. When we take that step, we pull it out. So I encourage you today, to believe that you are enough. Believe that all that you need, you’ve already been given. Stop doubting yourself, and get out there to ensure that you get that job done!

-XO Miss Jones

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Pasture Experience

As I read my daily devotion yesterday morning, I was blessed by the words. Although it’s something that’s been heard before, sometimes you’re in a particular place where a word meets you right where you are. Or you can receive a word that will prepare you for what’s to come. I am reading a devotions series called Wait and See. It speaks on the waiting process.

Yesterday’s devotion was entitled, ‘Pasture Experiences.’ It talked about David in the bible. For those who aren’t Christians or aren’t familiar with the Bible text, the lesson talked about how David was anointed King. He was young, he wasn’t ready or experienced, but his time and experience as a shepherd prepared him to be king.

The devotion went on to talk about things that were promised over our lives or things that we were called to do or be. Things don’t always come in an instant. They don’t come right away. Most times we have to go through a period of waiting. We are all aware of this, but some times we don’t always like to go through the waiting process. Or sometimes the process is longer than we’d anticipated. It’s normal for us to get frustrated or even begin to doubt as we wait. But what this devotion encouraged was not to give up. Without even realizing in those moments or during the periods, we are actually being built. And everything that we go through, that we don’t always like, is giving us the experience that we need to be exactly who we are called to be, and to do exactly what we are called to do.

In the devotion, the lady shared how one of her friends knew she was called to write a book. But it took her years to actually make it happen. So many things came up against her and many doors closed, but it was necessary for her book and for her message.

It’s funny, but I can relate. I was called to write a book long before I began blogging. God called me to write, I was told to write everything, no matter what others thought (family and friends alike) and how this book would be successful and be a blessing to others. I was straight out of college. And I thought, if God wants me to write it, let me get started. One Sunday, it all came to mind what I should include in a book. So I went to work. But it wasn’t working for me. My computer crashed three times and it became so difficult to write it all out. I reached out to authors, received advice. I even had a meeting with an author who published two or three books to lay it out and get the advice I needed to be a successful author. But after a while, I was still stuck. I just couldn’t write this book. So I stopped. I gave up on it. But something wouldn’t let me give up on writing altogether. I began to blog and realized I needed to continue my book. Years later, and I’m here. I’m working on a book or two, but I know it wasn’t time to complete it. In the years after I was called to write a book, I experienced things I’d never thought I’d experience. I mean never. I was in places I could never see myself in, at the time I was called. I can now see myself reaching a new audience because of what I’ve experienced. Not everything needs to be in this particular book, but I know my experiences will help me to get to the place that I’m meant to go. I know my experiences will help me to share a message I’d never been able to share had I wrote the book at that time.

One thing I haven’t always done in my waiting that we must do is keep working. Keep doing good. We have to continue to work in the other areas in our lives, never giving up on what we know we’ve been called to. As well as working towards what we’ve been called to. I may not have finished that book or books I know that are in me, but I’m writing. I’m still tending to the area of my calling. I’m still reading, I’m still researching. The work isn’t dead.

In your waiting season, be sure to work. This is just your pasture experience. All that you experience between the time of your calling and the time of your promise, is building your character. Which help you carry out the promise. So I just want to encourage you to work while you wait. Always tending to the area of your calling. Don’t give up and don’t give in. Journey on!

-xo Miss Jones

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What Did You Feed, In 2017?

When I looked back on this year, I celebrated those who have accomplished much and had a great year. Genuinely. But when I first reflected, I didn’t necessarily feel like I had a good year. This year, I struggled with depression, losing myself, trying to regain and pick up the pieces of who I was, and failure.

I was unhappy, but tried my best to mask how I was really feeling. I tried to push myself beyond my feelings, but in most cases I couldn’t. I was legit miserable. Came into this year, thinking I was living my best life. Living free. But I wasn’t Krystle. Which often left me feeling empty. Which pushed me towards depression.

I often wanted to give up in every area. I felt unaccomplished at work, in the beginning. Applied for grad school, but got rejected. I was dropped from Writing for EGL. I was on a roller coaster of emotions. People were in and out of my life. Those I thought I could depend on, weren’t there when I felt I needed them. I felt like I was alone in a sense. Like there was no one in my corner. No one who really cared, so I stopped talking. And often shut people out. I often felt that people didn’t care enough anyway so why even bother. I was disappointed. Failed as a youth leader. Failed those I was supposed to lead. Because I was constantly stuck.

As I began to reflect, I realized I gave too much life to those negative places in my life. I only spoke on those times, not as a way of encouragement and reflection like I am now, but just to highlight or pinpoint them. I was so stuck in those moments, that that was all that would spew out. I rarely looked at the upside of things. I barely wrote. I pushed myself to encourage, but not as much as I knew I could. I sometimes felt like I was too off to even write. To even share words of encouragement.

But in between all of that, there were high moments. In January, Lovely Miss Jones became an official company. Something I had to push myself into doing. I was asked to speak to the students at my alma mater, Seton Hall University. Anyone who knows me, or knows my story, knows how big of a deal this was. I often share of my shyness and insecurities. This engagement forced me to go beyond my comfort zone. And the response was rewarding. I was literally on the verge of tears to have heard how the students were touched by my workshop. That same month, I returned to a high school to speak for the third time. (A consistent engagement. Which said that I was doing something right.). I had an idea to have an event for women’s health month in May. Somewhere in my mind, I told myself I couldn’t do this alone. So I reached out to someone I consider to be a mentor to collaborate. She then introduced me to someone else. When we got together, the ideas came together. And we were able to pull off a successful event. The room was full, and people left with information, inspiration, and encouragement. It was amazing. The help that was sent my way was great. And I definitely felt as if I needed it. I couldn’t have pulled it together without them. But in that, God showed me that I was capable of doing this. He literally spoke to me and proved to me that I can’t continue to doubt myself. When I rely on Him and trust what He’s given me, I can do what I thought was impossible. In July,I was able to experience a new culture in Cuba. Only the second time being outside of the country, but I was grateful to be able to travel, experience a new culture, step outside of my comfort zone, and making myself comfortable in areas I wouldn’t have done at another time in my life. I celebrated LMJ’s third anniversary in August, along with my 29th birthday. The last of my 20s. Which was big for me. And I celebrated it the way I wanted to, with the people I wanted to celebrate with. The people who I want to be in my life. There were some bumps a long the way that month and the months that followed, but those people remained consistent in my life and showed me that they were for me.

Again, I’ve realized is that I put too much life into my low moments that it sunk me in deeper. I was allowing myself to go deeper in a depression, go further away from who I really am. Rather than pushing myself in the direction of positive change.

I didn’t look at the positive sides to this. Maybe I wasn’t ready for graduate school. Maybe I needed to experience all that I’ve experienced with my job. The low points, being unfulfilled. Maybe it was meant to teach me something a long the way. Maybe I could gain more experience after I survived those moments. I was upset after I was no longer writing for EGL.I gained so much by working with EGL. But I needed to be in a place where I wasn’t obligated to anyone else’s business if I wasn’t putting 100% into my own. Those people who were in and out of my life, I didn’t need them anyway. It was my connection to them that caused me to lose myself. No it wasn’t their fault, but those connections weren’t healthy for me. Which caused me to be something I wasn’t.

I keep seeing this post circulating Instagram, “God broke me down this year. I needed that.” I can relate. Although I may have felt like this wasn’t a good year at some points, I was going through a process. I was being broken down. It didn’t always feel like it. And yes some things that I went through was because of Krystle, I was still broken down after. And I did need it. Didn’t feel like it in the moment, but I’m seeing that I did. It’s setting me up for something. Whether it be a message to show who God is, to show others that they too can make it through, a word of encouragement, and simply a testimony to others.

I knew for a fact that this was what I needed to share after hearing Joel Olsteen this morning. He said we have to stop feeding certain things. Stop feeding the hurt. Stop feeding hate. And stop feeding betrayal. This year I fed those things that I was going through. I gave them way too much life. And I kept getting stuck. Over and over again. Sometimes we have to just let some things die. When you don’t feed it, it’ll die out. But when you keep feeding those negative things, it’ll keep living. I just want to encourage you, in 2018, let’s stop giving life to things that we need to allow to die. Let’s stop feeding our hurt, our pain, and pushing ourselves into a depression. Let’s look at the positive and keep feeding those things. Then we can flourish. The more we feed into the positive, the more positive we will begin to see. We will have a year of fulfillment when we feed the positives rather than the negatives! Wishing you all a Happy New Year, filled with giving life to things that will push you towards greatness!

-xo Miss Jones

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Spark Sundays

#SparkSundays

May this be the spark you need to move forward this week… We often move so much that we never stop. We think we have to remain busy and “get the job done”. Even when we begin to feel a little off.

There are times during our journey, that things become cloudy. Causing us to lose vision or sight of what’s ahead. But yet we still keep moving, thinking we can figure it out along the way. However, sometimes we need to just stop and take a break. Sometimes we need to unplug, so that we can readjust and realign. That’s the only way things will begin to come clear again. Which will propel us to our next level! So don’t be afraid to take a break. Step back, so that you can actually get the job done!

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Spark Sundays

#SparkSundays

May this be the spark you need to move forward this week…

Don’t you dare allow yourself or anyone else to make you feel less than. As if you’re not good enough to be in the room or have a seat at the table. Value what you have. You’re knowledgeable. You’re gifted. You’re talented. You’re birthed with something incredible. What they can do, you may not be able to do. But your area of expertise may not be theres. Everyone brings something different to the room or to the table. And just because you don’t have what they have, doesn’t mean that you don’t belong. Please believe that you belong in every single room you enter. You belong because you bring something that no one can bring. Someone is blessed because of what you bring to the room. We all have something to offer. And what we have to offer is great. So when you walk into the room, make sure you walk in there with confidence. Knowing that you belong and knowing that what you have is incredible! 💪🏾

#walkin #beconfident #youbelong #youareenough #valueyourworth #valueyourgift #lovelymissjones