I’ve somehow allowed myself to go weeks without posting a new blog. I realized very recently that I literally haven’t written anything new in about two or three weeks. Of course I have a few scheduled posts; I have an interview that I need to post and I jotted down a few topics to go into. However, as I traveled home today, I couldn’t help but think of the way I’ve been feeling today. In my frustration (honest moment), I was brought back to the feeling I felt just this morning. So I knew I needed to write about it.
I’ve never been much of an open person when I deal with certain issues. I’ve always been the type to suppress things and hold them in, for the most part. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve changed quite a bit. I’m more apt to sharing some of the things I’ve encountered or experienced. And when it comes to more of the deeper things I deal with, I’ve always had a very select few that I could go and talk things out with. As I’ve been going through some things this past month or two, I haven’t really felt that I’ve had that. I try my best to remain as positive as I can. When I go through, there a certain people that can tell, unless I decide to share for various reasons. Recently, I chose not to go into detail with many people at all about what I’ve been faced with. And when asked, I always say I’m doing just fine. I strongly dislike to feel like I’m constantly going through the motions, but I have to be honest and say that sometimes I do.
During this process, as I’ve stated (although I’ve been relatively good), I don’t feel like I’ve had those constants in my life. Those people I can go and talk to, talk things out, get advice, or even answer my own questions with a listening ear. I’ve felt as if I just didn’t have anyone in this season. Every time I attempted to talk to someone about it, either they were busy, brushed me off, or just felt like they didn’t care. So I eventually just stopped trying. I kept it to myself. But all in all, I just continued to go about my business. Some days better than others, but I’ve been determined to keep going.
However, this morning as I talked to someone I’ve been close to for a while, I felt so defeated. I felt like I was losing in this situation. I couldn’t explain myself and it was almost as if they didn’t even care. I felt like they had the ultimate upper hand. And in that very moment, I just felt like that was it. I lost. And in my frustration on the way home, I began to think; what do you do when you feel like there’s no one there for you. Or you began to feel overwhelmed to the point of defeat. Then it began to come to me.
There are some seasons of your life where people won’t be there for you the way you want them to be. It’s because they start to become your crutch. You start depending on them to make your situations better. There are times where you need to be alone to get things straight. However, too much time dwelling on your situations can cause extra stress. There are times when God allows us to be in a certain place, so that we can learn to depend on Him and only Him. Gods’ intentions are never for us to fail or feel as if we’re going to lose at life. He wants the best for us, always. But we have to learn that it’s in His strength that we can do what we feel may be impossible. So, I encourage you, try not to suppress things when you feel like it’s just you and your situation. Learn to trust and depend fully on God, and know that He wants what’s best for you. And since He wants the ultimate best for us, who better to share our hearts with? Be encouraged, loves! 😘