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2013: Growth, Transition, Process.

As we come to the end of the year, why not take a little time to reflect and share. This year if anything at all, has brought great growth. The fact that I’m able to share my thoughts and experiences through my writing is growth in itself.
This has also been a year of transition and process.

Transitioned from one job to another, transitioned into leadership positions, transitions within relationships with those around me, as well as personal transition. Although the process may not have always been easy, it’s all learning lessons and stepping stones for where I’m headed.

My employment journey has been quite interesting. The job search process after graduating from college was not pleasant. But I can honestly say, I’m grateful for where I am. My transition from college, to one job, to the next, was rather difficult; but I believe it was to teach me a lesson. It’s preparation.

When it comes to my relationships (friendships), I’ve become distant with some people and closer to others. But by the end of this year, I can say I’ve made amends with a few people. Some of those people I can see us being very good friends while others will be kept at a distance. We have to use wisdom in our interactions with others. Not every relationship has been great, may have been hurt, but I’ve been able to take something from each of them. I’ve been able to forgive people. Even when I wasn’t given an apology. In this year, I refused to become bitter by harboring ill feelings toward someone else. What sense does it make to be sad and moping while the person who hurt you goes through life unaware and living freely? None, none at at. One of the most important things though, I’ve learned to be wise when it comes to people and their motives, but to still be open to new relationships.

I’ve been put in leadership positions that I probably would not have accepted had this been a few years ago. I’ve began to share my writing and been able to reach and touch a few people. I’ve been given the opportunity to help others make positive changes in different areas of their lives. This has always been a desire of mine, but I haven’t always thought I was capable of doing it. I’ve now been able to take risks. That leap of faith.
This is all to show how much I’ve grown. I used to be the shy quiet girl who never wanted to be in the forefront, and always had a wall up to keep people shut out from knowing who I was. But now that’s all changed. I’ve found true freedom. I’m completely free to be myself. And I absolutely love who I’ve become. I’m at a place where I can willingly and openly display my thoughts through my writing as well as open behavior without being afraid of who won’t like it or who won’t like me. I’m no longer concerned whether people like me or not. I know the right people will. And I realize if I’m not myself, the people I’m supposed to reach won’t get what they need.

My faith has been increased through all of this. My faith in God as well as my belief in myself.

When you’re open to it, you can grow as much as possible. When you’re willing to take risks, it’ll take you places. I’m not where I want to be, but I’ve definitely grown. And I know that my openness and freedom will take me a whole lot further.
So I encourage you to be willing to take risks. Be open to growth. Trust your process.

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The Follow Up…

After the week of “operation get ya life” I’ve heard some of the most negative comments from other people about me. It has been the most criticism I’ve received, all based on one particular thing. Almost felt as if everything I did and said was wrong. I felt like I just couldn’t win. Then I began to think about the goals I had in mind for that week of isolation. I wanted to change things about myself that weren’t helping me grow. I opened myself up to it. I was open to finding out those negative characteristics that needed to go.
Sometimes you can’t go based off what you think you know. Sometimes you have to see how other people view you. And this is exactly what began to happen.
Although some of the things that were said weren’t pleasant to hear, especially from those closest to me. I choose to let it be my motivation. I won’t soak in the comments. I’ll look at it as a positive thing. It’s only going to help me grow in the long run. The only way you can change something is if you’re aware that its a problem.
Tonight as I read my devotion before I went to bed, the very last sentence was just what I needed to hear. It said, “Don’t fight it and grow.” It spoke directly to me and my situation. I can’t fight the words that were spoken to me, I have to use them to grow.
So I encourage you to always look for the good in everything. See how you can turn a negative situation into a positive one. Don’t fight it, allow it to help you grow!

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Get Ya Life!

We may all come to a point in our lives where we realize we’re not where we should be. We sit back, observe, and notice we need to get our lives. And get it quick. Sometimes in order to do this, we need to take a step back from everyone and everything. I was recently in this position and thought, why not write about it and share a little of my experience with you.

So about a week ago, I knew it was necessary that I get a few things in my life organized. I also knew that I couldn’t do this without isolating myself a little. Knowing all of this, I made the decision to go on a little hiatus. I committed to giving my phone a break. In other words, I made a choice to stop talking on the phone, texting, and give up all social networks (Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter). Now for a person like me, who’s on their phone quite a bit, that’s really a sacrifice. Even the people that are the closest to me, the people I speak to religiously on a daily basis, I wasn’t in contact with. This wasn’t something that I was necessarily overjoyed about, but I knew it was something that I needed to do. I only used my phone during this time, if it was something important. I must say, I did a relatively good job, kudos to me! Lol. But on a serious note, these few days were so beneficial.

So when starting or going through any process, there should always be a goal set in place. Some of my goals for this hiatus was to get my relationship with God back to where it needed to be (spending more time with Him), get my finances in order, create a feasible budget, do more reading, dedicate more time to writing, and become more aware of some things about myself that I needed to work on. I decided to create a game plan for these next few months so that I could go into the new year a little better. So I pretty much wanted to grow. And although I know this sounds like a lot to get done in a matter of days, I would have been satisfied just getting a start on it. Because obviously things don’t just change overnight, it does take time.

One of the most important things to take away from this, is that I was open to change before I began. I was open to hopefully coming up with methods to change certain areas in my life. I was pretty much open to making a better life for myself. When you make yourself open and available to change, that’s just what you’ll get.
So as I started my week, I started off with prayer and reading, something I don’t always do. Some days I would start my morning with a phone call. Although my day didn’t go bad when I started them with a phone call, it was a bit of a difference starting with prayer and reading. It gave me the fuel I needed for the day. It allowed me to stay focused and on task.

I then made some phone calls about these ungodly college loans and rearranged some of my bills. I also made a monthly budget, considering how much I wanted to spend and how much I wanted to save.

I wrote what I benefited from on a day to day basis, things I noticed about myself during the day and what I needed to work on and change. I also wrote down what I planned to accomplish in the next few months.

Another important thing I noticed, is how much time I actually spent on my phone. With the amount of reading, writing, and personal organization I did, it showed me that I wasted too much time on a daily basis. Although after coming from the hiatus, I don’t plan to continue to completely give up time spent on my phone, I do plan to limit it. I was able to come up with a plan where I could get all that I needed to do in on a day to day basis and fill in some of the things that I wanted to do as well. Win win situation. But I had to become aware of where the most of my time went so that I could change what I needed to change.
Going into this I knew that there were some decisions I needed to make concerning my life, without the opinions of other people. I needed to get some things squared away on my own. This time away from people helped me to get my thoughts down on paper and reason some things out. I made up in my mind that I didn’t want to allow anyone’s thoughts or opinions to determine how I move. Being in hibernation helps build your confidence as well. When you’re constantly reminding yourself of who you are and what you’re capable of doing through positive affirmation, you begin to grow.
I was aware of my attitude and behavior as well, within those few days. And this was because I took time to reflect and see if there was anything that I could change. Again this was only possible because I was open to it.

There were a few other personal things I was able to accomplish as well. Without getting into detail, I did all of this to become better, so that I would be able to grow. I wanted to get closer to the person that I’m supposed to be in life.
I ultimately wanted to solidify a game plan before the year was out. There are certain things I refuse to go into the new year with. I’ve avoided too much for way too long, mostly because of fear. So I made up in my mind, there would be no more planning without action, as I’ve done so often in the past.

What we must realize is, hibernation and quietude can be very beneficial to our lives. In order to “get ya life”, there are some sacrifices that you will have to make. You have to evaluate and manage your time. It’s important to assess where the bulk of your time is going and see if it’s taking over your priorities. Once you’ve done this, you can begin to make any necessary changes. So be open to change!

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