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“Dreams Won’t Work Unless You Do”

As I thought these past few days what my next post would be, I somewhat drew a blank. My last two posts were reviews, and I have interviews and features scheduled, but I wanted to share a post that was inspirational through a personal experience. Which is the central theme of my blog. I’ve written two potential blog posts, but I just didn’t feel as if it was the right time to post them. One on Friday and another last night. I have plenty of topics I could possibly write about, but I continued to contemplate if I should post them.

So today, I had a scheduled interview that we ended up rescheduling for tomorrow. It was better for the person I’m interviewing and myself travel wise; and I thought it would be a great chance for me to work on my next post that I definitely wanted to post today.

As I began to skim through Instagram, one of the first pictures that caught my attention said, “Dreams Don’t Work Unless You Do.” Immediately I said to myself, this might be good. I then took out the latest issue of Essence Magazine to see what I could find. Essence has always been one of the places I find the most inspiring and motivating pieces. So I wondered if I’d get inspired from one of the articles. The first article I read was an email written by a fifteen year old girl. She shared her story about how she was accepted into the yes we code hackathon at the essence festival this past July. Her mom was struggling to find a way for them to get down to New Orleans. They weren’t sure if they’d be able to afford a hotel room and plane tickets. After they were told they’d be able to have a dorm, they only had to worry about the tickets. However, they were too expensive. Her mother tried her best to get this done for her daughter by going to the bank and trying to get an increase on her credit card, but she couldn’t. At that moment she felt like a failure, she felt like she couldn’t deliver. Her mother then chose another option and they decided to drive. While they were down in New Orleans, the young girl worked the hardest she’d ever worked with her team to come up with an app that would help stop sex trafficking. On her way back she learned that her team had won for best social impact.

After reading this great article, the pieces began to come together. We can have all of these dreams, but it will never work for us if we don’t put in the work that’s required. And after we’ve encountered disappointments, it’s our job to find another option. Change the method, but not the goal. And the end result will be great.

These past two years have shown me this. I’ve discovered how passionate I really am about my writing. In that, I’ve created a few goals for myself. I would like to reach as many people as possible, create change, build my audience, as well as build my credibility as a writer. Now all of these things require work. If I sit back and expect things to fall into my lap, it’ll never happen. As I begun to really put in the work, things are beginning to happen. I made a decision to write more consistently, which has drawn more readers. Because of that, I’ve heard many people say how encouraged they’ve been because of it. In order to build my credibility as a writer, I made goals to share my writing as much as possible through other outlets aside of my own blog. This could only be possible if I continued to work on my writing and submit samples here and there. Things won’t always be peaches and cream. There will be disappointments when you don’t get results immediately. But when you keep working, success will come. As I continued writing, I began to get recognized for my work. My work was able to speak for me. And in that I am now doing a weekly blog in the wellness section of the online magazine, Everything Girls Love (everythinggirlslove.com). Which was one of the personal goals I set for myself. People have also begin to reach out to me for services regarding my blog. And this is just the beginning of my dreams being unfolded. Had I been asked two years ago if I’d be here or going down this path, I don’t believe I would’ve said yes. But because I realized that work is required in order to make things happen, I am.

So I encourage you today to put in the work. Whatever your dreams are, it’s possible for you to fulfill. But you have to do something in order to make it happen. When things come up against you that lead to disappointment, don’t stop. Keep going and see where it leads you!

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Do it Anyway

People will take your past and create issues that never existed. Because you may have reacted a certain way in the past, doesn’t mean you continue to have that reaction. Some people fail to realize this.

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The other night this week, I experienced this full on. My attitude is something that I’ve constantly had to work on. To be quite honest, it’s not the best and I have to continuously reflect and check myself. I don’t always do the best job, but it’s something I can honestly say I’m working on. In any event, that particular night, I so happen to walk into a room and received a very negative comment for absolutely no reason. So I decided instead of allowing it to make me upset, I’d just joke around and let it slide. So I joked back knowing the person was serious. Then this situation became an issue because I responded to something that was said.

I almost took to social media to display my frustrations, instead I thought why not see the lesson in it and write about it.

Despite what people say or what they think they know about you, keep moving towards growth.
Some people will always have that negative view of you regardless of how much you’ve changed. Don’t allow it to frustrate you to the point that you end up reverting back to it.
Ignore it. Let it brush off your shoulders and keep it moving. As hard as it is, and trust I know, it’s something you have to do. Help the situation rather than hurt it.

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I could’ve allowed this situation to bring me completely out of character because I knew for sure I wasn’t in the wrong. But I know that I’m better than that. I’ve come to realize that no matter how much you’ve grown or worked on your issues; for some people, you’re still the person you used to be. I had to choose to look passed that knowing I’ve made progress.

So I encourage you today to keep moving forward regardless of how certain people see you. In spite of what others may say, continue down that path of progression. Don’t allow the negativity to deter you from growth.

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The Follow Up…

After the week of “operation get ya life” I’ve heard some of the most negative comments from other people about me. It has been the most criticism I’ve received, all based on one particular thing. Almost felt as if everything I did and said was wrong. I felt like I just couldn’t win. Then I began to think about the goals I had in mind for that week of isolation. I wanted to change things about myself that weren’t helping me grow. I opened myself up to it. I was open to finding out those negative characteristics that needed to go.
Sometimes you can’t go based off what you think you know. Sometimes you have to see how other people view you. And this is exactly what began to happen.
Although some of the things that were said weren’t pleasant to hear, especially from those closest to me. I choose to let it be my motivation. I won’t soak in the comments. I’ll look at it as a positive thing. It’s only going to help me grow in the long run. The only way you can change something is if you’re aware that its a problem.
Tonight as I read my devotion before I went to bed, the very last sentence was just what I needed to hear. It said, “Don’t fight it and grow.” It spoke directly to me and my situation. I can’t fight the words that were spoken to me, I have to use them to grow.
So I encourage you to always look for the good in everything. See how you can turn a negative situation into a positive one. Don’t fight it, allow it to help you grow!

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Get Ya Life!

We may all come to a point in our lives where we realize we’re not where we should be. We sit back, observe, and notice we need to get our lives. And get it quick. Sometimes in order to do this, we need to take a step back from everyone and everything. I was recently in this position and thought, why not write about it and share a little of my experience with you.

So about a week ago, I knew it was necessary that I get a few things in my life organized. I also knew that I couldn’t do this without isolating myself a little. Knowing all of this, I made the decision to go on a little hiatus. I committed to giving my phone a break. In other words, I made a choice to stop talking on the phone, texting, and give up all social networks (Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter). Now for a person like me, who’s on their phone quite a bit, that’s really a sacrifice. Even the people that are the closest to me, the people I speak to religiously on a daily basis, I wasn’t in contact with. This wasn’t something that I was necessarily overjoyed about, but I knew it was something that I needed to do. I only used my phone during this time, if it was something important. I must say, I did a relatively good job, kudos to me! Lol. But on a serious note, these few days were so beneficial.

So when starting or going through any process, there should always be a goal set in place. Some of my goals for this hiatus was to get my relationship with God back to where it needed to be (spending more time with Him), get my finances in order, create a feasible budget, do more reading, dedicate more time to writing, and become more aware of some things about myself that I needed to work on. I decided to create a game plan for these next few months so that I could go into the new year a little better. So I pretty much wanted to grow. And although I know this sounds like a lot to get done in a matter of days, I would have been satisfied just getting a start on it. Because obviously things don’t just change overnight, it does take time.

One of the most important things to take away from this, is that I was open to change before I began. I was open to hopefully coming up with methods to change certain areas in my life. I was pretty much open to making a better life for myself. When you make yourself open and available to change, that’s just what you’ll get.
So as I started my week, I started off with prayer and reading, something I don’t always do. Some days I would start my morning with a phone call. Although my day didn’t go bad when I started them with a phone call, it was a bit of a difference starting with prayer and reading. It gave me the fuel I needed for the day. It allowed me to stay focused and on task.

I then made some phone calls about these ungodly college loans and rearranged some of my bills. I also made a monthly budget, considering how much I wanted to spend and how much I wanted to save.

I wrote what I benefited from on a day to day basis, things I noticed about myself during the day and what I needed to work on and change. I also wrote down what I planned to accomplish in the next few months.

Another important thing I noticed, is how much time I actually spent on my phone. With the amount of reading, writing, and personal organization I did, it showed me that I wasted too much time on a daily basis. Although after coming from the hiatus, I don’t plan to continue to completely give up time spent on my phone, I do plan to limit it. I was able to come up with a plan where I could get all that I needed to do in on a day to day basis and fill in some of the things that I wanted to do as well. Win win situation. But I had to become aware of where the most of my time went so that I could change what I needed to change.
Going into this I knew that there were some decisions I needed to make concerning my life, without the opinions of other people. I needed to get some things squared away on my own. This time away from people helped me to get my thoughts down on paper and reason some things out. I made up in my mind that I didn’t want to allow anyone’s thoughts or opinions to determine how I move. Being in hibernation helps build your confidence as well. When you’re constantly reminding yourself of who you are and what you’re capable of doing through positive affirmation, you begin to grow.
I was aware of my attitude and behavior as well, within those few days. And this was because I took time to reflect and see if there was anything that I could change. Again this was only possible because I was open to it.

There were a few other personal things I was able to accomplish as well. Without getting into detail, I did all of this to become better, so that I would be able to grow. I wanted to get closer to the person that I’m supposed to be in life.
I ultimately wanted to solidify a game plan before the year was out. There are certain things I refuse to go into the new year with. I’ve avoided too much for way too long, mostly because of fear. So I made up in my mind, there would be no more planning without action, as I’ve done so often in the past.

What we must realize is, hibernation and quietude can be very beneficial to our lives. In order to “get ya life”, there are some sacrifices that you will have to make. You have to evaluate and manage your time. It’s important to assess where the bulk of your time is going and see if it’s taking over your priorities. Once you’ve done this, you can begin to make any necessary changes. So be open to change!

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