This has been an incredible year, to stay the least. I can honestly say that this has been one of the best years for me. It’s brought many joys as well as hurts. But through it all, it’s produced great growth. I’m stronger than I’ve ever been.
Coming into this year, I had great expectations. I knew last year was all about transition and growth. I took a leap of faith and finally began doing what I loved. I wasn’t as consistent as I’d like to be, but it was a start. I knew something great would be produced, however, I’m amazed and forever grateful for this journey. It’s been an incredible ride. To have my gift recognized by people, has blown me away. I’ve barely reached the surface, but for me, this means a lot. To sit back and think of the quiet girl I used to be, never wanting to be seen or heard; it’s overwhelming to see where I am now. To have built my personal audience. To the many messages I’ve received of how I’ve encouraged someone through my writing. To have been featured on different websites, web radio interview, and become a blogger and journalist for two websites. To the connections that I’ve made for collaborations in this coming year. It’s just mind blowing. 2014, has literally changed me forever.
I can’t say it’s been all joys though. I’ve been hurt many of times. I’ve had my back against the wall more than I can count. There’s been many times this year, even in these past few days, that I’ve just wanted to go into a little bubble and say forget the world. But I realized that I can’t do that. There’s so much I need to do, so much I need to share in order to impact the lives of others. What I’ve been called to do. But it’s not easy at all. Especially when you’ve been hurt by people. In the past I’ve experienced this hurt and I didn’t expect to revisit it in this year. I’m such an emotional person, so I feel like I’m effected by things on a whole different level. I always said, it’ll be understandable for me to not trust anyone with the hurt I’ve experienced, but that’s just not who I am. I can’t fault everyone for the mistakes of others. So I go all in when it comes to friendships and building with someone. And in more cases than one, I feel like I’m in it more than the other person. There’s been times I’ve felt like I’ve been taken advantage of, wasn’t given the respect I deserved, and just wasn’t taken seriously. All reminders of my past. I’ve been put into situations I never thought I’d be in. And I stayed, as I did in the past. Wanting to make changes, but not receiving much support from those I called friends. Thankfully, I finally realized I needed to isolate myself from certain people. I needed to withdraw for a little while. Although I had grown, I still struggled with insecurities. I’m not saying all of the people I experienced this with were horrible people, I just didn’t see myself for who I really was in some cases. I’ve been in situations this year, where I felt like I just wasn’t good enough. And that’s one of the worst feelings, especially when you’ve began to grow and start to believe in yourself. But, I was able to come back. In removing myself from certain situations, I took from it what I could. I used it as a learning lesson. I grew enough strength to say, I can no longer stay where my growth is stifled. I had to consider not only me, but the lives of those I have help.
Every single situation I experienced taught me something. And I’m grateful for the good and the bad. I’ve learned how to love me for me. I’ve accepted me for who I am. I’m less concerned with what people think of me. And I know I’m worth more than I’ve accepted before. Aside of being hurt, I’ve experienced great struggle. But I’ve learned to master the art of reflection. When you sit back and think of all you have and how far you’ve come, you can’t help but be grateful. Your focus begins to shift and what should make you sad, turns into what makes you happy.
This year was about building. Building my relationship with God, building my strength and confidence, building relationships with people, and building my empire. I’ve got a ways to go, but this foundation is now strong enough to withstand what I’m going to face. I have a better outlook on things, which will help in the success of all areas of my life. I’m going into this new year better because of what I experienced. It all pushed me to grow. It pushed me to be strong. It pushed me to prayer and thanksgiving. I’ve embraced it all and accept all that’s about to come on this new journey in 2015.
So I encourage you today, reflect on this year. All the good and unpleasant things as well. Embrace it, and see how it’s made you who you are. It’s taught you something, and you’ll be stronger because of it!